Author Topic: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access  (Read 855 times)

martinibuster

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2018, 07:04:15 AM »
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I'd have considered my kids to be failures if they'd have fallen in line with a good talking-to and a couple of confiscations.

I agree with you 100%! That's the last thing I would want in any child of mine.

No offense, but I think you're filtering what I wrote through your personal experience.

I do not give my child a "good talking TO." I talk WITH my child. There's a difference. ;)

I encourage my kid to challenge me. That's what I mean when I say that I listen.

Challenging a parent is a moment for dialogue.  And I admit when she has a good idea or a solid counter argument. I am PROUD of her if she has a good counter argument.

Listening and discussing is the opposite of tyranny or top down leading. So we discuss WHY she shouldn't be on her device before going to bed and so on. And she understands it. There are times when she has a counter suggestion that makes sense and we'll accommodate her.


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Guilty as charged

I'm the youngest.

My daughter is in a similar situation. Her parents are older and more experienced than typical young parents. We have read books, observed the mistakes of our siblings and friends and have taken all of that to heart.

Yes, we have made mistakes. I wished I could have worked less to spend more time with her, but I used to read to her EVERY night when she was younger, including The Hobbit. And I played games with her, including buying dozens of finger puppets and making theater productions with them.


I'm not saying my kid is the best. She's a work in progress, just like any other kid.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2018, 07:19:15 AM by martinibuster »

Rupert

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2018, 09:39:59 AM »
Lovely thread, than folks.  Some great words of wisdom.   

To me the router thing, is just a reinforcement of the rules talked about.  Its easy to slip as parents, and with a program to shut things down at night, it helps for the time when a device is accidently left in the bedroom, the boyfriend is online, and so no sleep happens before school.

Sure there are ways to get round it, but it helps.  Its an important one.  I see so many childen very tired all the time.

As for time.. well, mine is running out.  Lucy is 17 now, and I am taking 5 weeks off this summer (cannot afford it) but she wants to climb mountains and go sailing with me.

Time is the one thing that is in really short supply.  Related, but different, some one at the sailing club said to me last wed night, when trying to persuade me to start racing mid afternoon instad of just the evening... 

The trouble with people like you Rupert, is your have a watch but no time, in Africa they have no watches but plenty of time.    I though that was a bit cheaky. He is retired with a lexus and a newish K6 dingy.
... Make sure you live before you die.

martinibuster

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2018, 03:26:35 PM »
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As for time.. well, mine is running out.  Lucy is 17 now, and I am taking 5 weeks off this summer...

That's smart!

I am conscious of my time running out as well. My daughter is 14 and going to HS this fall. We're trying to make the next four years as good as we can, full of as much time together as we can manage.

But we also give her a long leash. We let her roam alone with her friends long before some of the other parents.   

Next up over the coming years is teaching the life skills to survive as an adult, like shopping, laundry and cooking.  She has been rolling her own sushi for years now.  :P

Rupert

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #18 on: July 01, 2018, 04:53:42 PM »
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rolling her own sushi for years now.
...  beautiful1  Not personally a life goal, but get why it probably should be :)
... Make sure you live before you die.

rcjordan

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #19 on: July 01, 2018, 08:49:22 PM »
We taught a fair number of life skills to our high school age kids (but not enough).  The had their own checking accounts, prepare a few meal entrés, and even know how to wash dishes & general housekeeping.  When they went to college, they were appalled at how "untrained" their dorm suitemates were.  I went down to the dorms a couple of times to buy minimal housekeeping supplies, dishes, cutlery, etc. as the other kids pretty much just showed up and expected it all to miraculously take care of itself --overwhelming my daughters who were at least modestly prepared to take care of themselves but not the entire suite.

Now I consciously start training grandkids when they start showing an interest, usually 12-ish. That's mostly centered around cooking easy, safe-to-handle entrés (in the Replicator) . I tell them about their moms' experiences at college and they are pretty much aware that that most of their friends are helpless already.  One or two of the grandkids have natural aptitudes for crafts and/or 'construction' projects.  I buy them small tools and encourage DIY.

Brad

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2018, 09:17:36 PM »
I've often thought basic Home Ec should be required in either Middle School or High School: basic cooking, cleaning, laundry, how to sew a button on a shirt.

I remember taking a HS class called General Business.  We had to learn how to balance a checkbook, budget, how the stock market worked, types of life insurance, stuff like that.  It was not required but it should have been.  Stuff I learned in that class came in handy ever since.

buckworks

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2018, 10:02:51 PM »
>> Stuff I learned in that class came in handy ever since.

My household is far better off because of the things I learned in Home Ec.

>> consciously start training grandkids when they start showing an interest

Ditto. I've been teaching my grandkids some basic sewing skills, including the boys. Tote bags and pillow cases are good starter projects. The geometry is simple, the seams are straight and imperfections aren't fatal.

Favorite grandma moment ... Sophie had a flash of insight when she was two, watching an older cousin at work: "If you cut the cloth the right shape you can turn it into a dress."


rcjordan

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2018, 12:55:36 AM »
> things I learned in Home Ec

I was thrashing about trying to figure out what elective I could take in the 10th grade and my mom suggested typing.  The typing teacher was very young and very, very hot-hot-hot, and the room was full of good-looking girls, so that helped with the decision. Best class ever! (Typing came in handy in college, too, when everyone else was having to pay to have their papers typed up.)

ergophobe

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2018, 12:58:37 AM »
balance a checkbook, budget, how the stock market worked, types of life insurance, stuff like that

My brother used to go into disadvantaged schools and do something like this, but one key item was the job application. Most kids in these schools had a close relative with a felony conviction and when they got to the part of the application where it said "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" the kids would ask "Are they going to ask me this for the rest of my life."

ergophobe

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2018, 01:01:19 AM »
Rooftop - did you ever find a solution that worked for you friend?

In case it got lost in all the shuffle, I'm quite sure Gargoyle will do what he wants (not as convenient as the service you envision, but it would get the job done nicely)

Rooftop

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #25 on: July 03, 2018, 11:17:23 AM »
Rooftop - did you ever find a solution that worked for you friend?

In case it got lost in all the shuffle, I'm quite sure Gargoyle will do what he wants (not as convenient as the service you envision, but it would get the job done nicely)

Typical friend request.  Laid out a few options, including a few instructions for her router.  Never even got a response!   
Might teach her kids about proxies in return!

ergophobe

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Re: Does this exist : Service to manage home net access
« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2018, 05:15:27 PM »
Might teach her kids about proxies in return!

I'm sure he'll thank you in the end.