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Topics - mick g

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Water Cooler / 48 hours to ban bee killers
« on: January 30, 2013, 07:05:32 AM »
1,643,470 have signed the petition. Help us get to 2,000,000

billions of bees are dying, threatening our crops and food. But in 48 hours the European Union could move to ban the most poisonous pesticides, and pave the way to a global ban that would save bees from extinction.

if we reach 2 million, we can persuade the EU to get rid of these crazy poisons and pave the way for a ban worldwide.

this needs to go viral, can any one help ?

Hardware & Technology / Samsung Galaxy S3
« on: December 17, 2012, 07:15:46 PM »
upgraded my phone yesterday and the contract I am on means I could of changed to any phone free of charge, had the choice of iphone 4 or 5 or the Samsung galaxy S3

its not that often I get excited about a product and granted its early days but the galaxy S3 is the best phone I have ever had dating back to my first phone in 1989

Water Cooler / Divorce Letter
« on: October 07, 2011, 10:09:05 PM »

Dear Wife

Iím writing you this letter to tell you that Iím leaving you forever. Iíve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didnít even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donít tell me you love me anymore; you donít want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

Either youíre cheating on me or you donít love me anymore; whatever the case, Iím gone.

Signed Your EX-Husband

P.S. donít try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itís true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youíve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnít work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ĎYou look just like a girl!í Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canít say something nice, I didnít comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.

So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonít get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I donít know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatís not a problem!!! LMFAO :o)

Traffic / could someone explain this to me
« on: September 23, 2011, 08:56:30 PM »
how can bing be loosing 1 billion dollars a quarter

Since Microsoft began breaking out that unit's finances in 2007, the company has lost a total of $9 billion.

is it bandwidth ?

wages ?

infrastructure costs ?

overheads ?

crap UK TV advertising ?

what else ?

is no one using bing PPC to gain any revenue ?

Water Cooler / Fish in the harbour - what ever next
« on: September 10, 2011, 06:29:05 AM »
Tourist complains about sight of fish in harbour

David Copp came across a fishing trawler moored in Ilfracombe Harbour he took great offence and complained about the ďdisgustingĒ smell.

The 46-year-old was outraged that his children, aged seven and nine, had been forced to endure the sight of 12 crates of dead fish and crabs, piled up on the quayside.

He said the ordeal had left them ďquite distressedĒ and demanded to know why the harbourmaster was not more considerate to tourists.


i bet he thinks fish fingers are caught covered with breadcrumbs . . . . .  what a mupet

Water Cooler / the register hacked
« on: September 04, 2011, 08:25:08 PM » has been hacked by Turkish hackers. September 4th is world hackers day.

Traffic /
« on: August 17, 2011, 05:35:48 PM »
does having a paid back link on still hold any weight ?


Water Cooler / thieving barstuard
« on: April 22, 2011, 05:03:38 AM »

If convicted, Billiot faces 20 years in jail and $250,000 in fines

he should be nailed to the tarmac road with 6 inch nails through his hands and feet and shown on national TV to set an example so other thieving barstuards don't try the same thing

Water Cooler / Birthday Girl
« on: April 17, 2011, 07:45:03 AM »
Jenny Skinner is 40 years old on the 19th June and is having a get together in Brighton...well p##s up really

I have been asked to see if anyone would like to attend, final arrangements have not been confirmed yet just the date

Water Cooler / paging peter
« on: March 09, 2011, 10:35:42 PM »

Water Cooler / Software engineer
« on: February 25, 2011, 06:13:47 PM »
A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six!"

A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


Water Cooler / 2010 statistics on Airport screening
« on: January 11, 2011, 01:01:48 AM »
2010 statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0 - zilch - zero - none
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

Good job  ;D

Water Cooler / My Blackberry Is Not Working
« on: December 24, 2010, 11:42:01 AM »

Water Cooler / best driveway transformation
« on: December 10, 2010, 08:43:02 AM »
this has got nothing at all to do with the interweb but when you win something as prestigious as this you just have to climb onto the top of the highest building and shout it out loud

Marshall's are the largest manufacturing and importing company of paving products in the UK and are a household name

It was the North West Marshall's installer presentation last night and i won the award for the "best driveway transformation over £ 5,000" in the north west region

into the next round...... :)

Water Cooler / ryanair
« on: December 01, 2010, 09:34:50 PM »
i have seen the sketch before but this is funny too

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