Author Topic: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...  (Read 2415 times)

dogboy

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A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« on: February 01, 2011, 02:20:24 AM »
So I have this little Bulgarian girlfriend... live with her, actually.  She's embarrassingly younger than me by 12 years, but she is very mature for her age, and I'm extremely immature for mine, so it all works out nicely:)  Of course she trusts me, looks up to me, etc. and asks my advice on things that matter (and things that don't) and also time to time for help with her English, both pronunciation and grammar.

So we were doing something the other day and she was telling me some long story about how she has to go to a formal business luncheon, and how she still gets embarrassed speaking in front of people, and then all of a sudden asked me what I always say when I have to go to the bathroom.  I replied with, "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom", or something like that.  She said no, that wasn't it.  So I belted out a few more variations... no, those weren't it either.  I finally said, who cares what I said, these other 5 were just as good.  She pleaded with me to keep thinking, telling me I had a very sophisticated phrase I always used, which really stumped me. 

"Wrecking the hammock", she said wincing, as if she knew that wasn't it, but thought it was close.  Then it hit me: 'wreaking havoc':)  In the morning, after coffee, I apparently usually excuse my self from the table by saying to her, 'I have to go wreak some havoc', on the assumption she knew what I was actually saying, not just what I meant:) 

But to imagine my little girl standing up in the middle of a big lunch and attempt to excuse herself by explaining she needed to go 'wreak some havoc in the restroom'... with a straight face to her managers.... just brings me to tears every time I think about it, so I had to share because she doesn't think it's all that funny:)

Anyone else with a similar story?

ukgimp

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2011, 01:42:09 PM »
Thats funny. Lol

edo

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2011, 02:06:43 PM »
Haha, nice. Reminds me of the scene in Borat where he comes back to the dinner table carrying his turd in a plastic bag!

I think this video will be right up your street. Even better if you've watched Doctor Who before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahysN2sIIw

Cheers,

Ed

thesaintv12

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2011, 03:13:45 PM »
This had me in tears!  :D

ergophobe

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2011, 04:23:08 PM »
Nothing like that... but I bet anyone with kids has similar stories.

The only one I remember right off is that my old roommate used to watch Saturday Night Live obsessively to improve his colloquial English (French speaker from Algeria). He'd tape the episodes and make us watch the Wayne's World skits stopping every few seconds to annotate and explain. His English was getting much better and he had all kinds of little zingers to pull out in a fight after a while. The annoying part is he started naming everyone after SNL characters. I was Wayne, my girlfriend Lisa, our other roommate Garth and so on.

So one day my girlfriend is unloading some groceries and a propos of nothing, Toumi says with properly snarky and sarcastic intonation and exclamation "Nice comeback Lisa!"

She, having said nothing to provoke this, looked at him blankly and asks what he meant.

"Well, you went away and you came back. Nice comeback."

dogboy

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2011, 04:59:30 PM »
>This had me in tears!
yeah, this one you really had to see to appreciate how funny that moment was... the best I could liken it to was the eye scene in the good, the bad, and the ugly.

There was my initial delight with being blindsided by something so funny... then her eyes catching mine, with hopes I had remembered.... then her trying to pronounce in her little tiny voice '...wreaking havoc', 'Excuse me, I have to go wreak the havoc...'  Then me, 'No, sweety, it's wreak havoc, no 'the'...' ;D haahahaah I can't even explain... she still didn't realize what she was saying, because my dry humor totally went over her head... so I made a funny face... a devilishly innocent one... letting on that maybe she should re-consider saying such a thing... all this with eyes, in a few instants:)

I laughed so hard I was purple, with tears streaming down my cheeks, and snot coming out of my nose, as she chased me around the house.... heheeheh I do this all the time:)

No one ever told her it would be easy:)

ukgimp

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2011, 05:51:27 PM »
When working in the lab when I was at uni we had a few nice foreign chaps, from china. We used to swear a lot, almost like normal words. These guys used to pick up on this and think it was natural language. But being english we had the knowledge of when not to swear. So there would be times when the faculty professor would be with us or having something explained and he would be treated to...

"take the f###ing crucible out of the furnace but watch out it will be cuntishly hot" said in the very best "Chinglish".

 Awsome

dogboy

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2011, 06:19:48 PM »
Hgaaha rofllll

creative666

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2011, 06:48:11 PM »
I've been living in Cape Town for four years now and my brother in law has started picking up a few swear/slang words I use - every now and then I drop in a knew one and I know if I give it a few weeks he'll be using it in everyday conversation... pillock is the last one I dropped in and he used it over the weekend, which means its time to introduce him to the next one :)

4Eyes

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2011, 02:33:27 AM »
As some of you know, my wife isn't English so I live with linguistic confusion on a daily basis.


Examples include:

'the old mad spider' - local pub, 'the old man and scythe'
'the French Church' - the 'parish' church (think about it - it makes sense)
'tree heads' - Deer
'houses with haircuts' - thatched cottages

All better than the correct words, IMO, so we stick with them.

dogboy

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Re: A little racial 'bathroom' humor...
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2011, 02:59:22 PM »
Domestic spouse abuse is not a joke Jason, and it's not funny to make up stories about 'falling down'. No one believes them anymore, after the last three times you blacked out and something like this happened.  I thought we went over this last time, after I bailed you out...

:)