The Core

I'm waiting for an AI-assisted outdoor laser light show.  Plug it in, it scans the house, then determines the best graphics to project.  As it happens, I was digging around in Amz just this morning to see what the state-of-the-art laser show might be. Answer: not much.

What about your inside decorations, particularly the PITA tree?

>inside

None.  I have one of those 1950's ceramic trees that sits on a table, but I haven't bothered with it over the last few years.

>PITA tree

OK, you beat me with the ceramic one ...but I'm getting close.  Last year I gave away the huge, fiber-optic-lighted tree. I replaced it with a lighted pop-up tree with ribbons & ornaments permanently attached.  I clipped out the lighting and replaced those with led "fairy lights.' I tossed the crappy oem pole and base and fabricated a taller, sturdier one.  The whole thing folds flat into a storage bag.  It took 15 minutes to set it up this year, if you include the 10 minutes it took to drag it out of the attic.

Louise then spends 45 minutes adding additional ornaments, but I don't care 'cause that's not my job.  Tree ends up looking great.

Started with something similar to this:
https://www.hammacher.com/product/thomas-kinkade-pop-up-6-foot-christmas-tree

"Then I started getting fancy. I started adding on a timer, lights in the bushes and other stuff.  Mission creep."

Ruth Ann is in charge of MISSION CREEP at our home :-)

<added>

>help from my 6 year old. Without his help it would have taken 30 minutes.

Don't get me started about my slave-labor years doing decorations with my dad. That guy was a Christmas-decorating nut.  (As a business owner, I suspect he charged it all off to advertising.)

>big tourist attraction

My dad did utility grid & power transmission line design "off the cuff" for cities, counties, REAs.  They owed him a lot of favors.  So.....

One day, bucket trucks and hook-n-ladder fire trucks showed up in our back yard along the waterfront, which was across the river from one of the main causeways entering our small downtown.  The crews spent the day stringing massive strings of line-voltage, colored lights (these were full-sized weatherproof bulbs, it was before the days of mini-lights).  The tree was an ancient, huge, *very* tall (80-90 ft) cypress.

I don't remember how long it took to run power out to this tree, but when they finally threw the switch one evening traffic stopped.  You could see that tree for -literally- miles.  The town couldn't compete.  After a few years, the town strung lights on their water tower and outdid his tree.

Luckily, I wasn't forced labor on that job ...but it was an omen of things to come.