I used to collect quotes... now drawing pretty much a blank. Some great ones so far. A little thought and these come to mind:
"The natives, by and large, had to be driven to work with clubs, they preserved that much dignity, whereas the whites, perfected by public education, worked of their own free will. "
-- Céline, Journey to the End of the Night
"Any time you're faced with making a hard decision between two choices, you haven't looked at the problem long enough."
--??? I got this from my brother.
"I hope that when I die, people say 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money'"
-- Jack Handy
"There are two kinds of people. Those who have to carry everything through to its logical conclusion."
-- ergophobe (as far as I know).
I can't believe the number of people who, in response to hearing that last one ask, with no irony, "And what's the other kind?" to which I say, "Well, I guess that would be you."