OK, I am 47, happily married, still reasonably fit, and get scared easily :)
I don't want a mistress, I love the woman I married. But, there is a great opportunity looming to do something exciting.
THE MID LIFE CRISIS!!!!
I already have a motor bike, and Sues car is a softop. I need for my own sanity to do something to make the most of this opportunity, but I am undecided as to what.
If I went walkabout, it would be with the family, as I would want to share it with them both.
I am thinking of a series of cross continent bike trips. I cannot take everyone without a side car, Sue wont come without Lucy, and wont let Lucy come with me (She is only 10 )
Start with cross Europe, then America (on A harley), then India on an Enfield, then South America, and so on.
What was yours?
What is yours?
Or What do you think yours will be?
I had mine a little earlier.
I packed in my job, sold my house went to Seattle and learned to fly helicopters.
I then went to a Kibbutz for 2 years and worked as a barman
I then backpacked around South America for a year with the Israeli I hooked up with on the Kibbutz
I then went to NY and started working again without any money and no house.
Go help some people out in a third world country for a week or two, or more.
You'll never have a crisis again.
If you just want something new, exciting and time consuming, get a boat. Or a plane.
eurotrash... blimey, that is some crisis :)
I would miss my family going away for that long.
Drastic. Good idea on the helping out... That has given me good food for thought. There are enough disasters out there in the world too.
cough: I have a boat too. Friday night is waterski night this week. We try to do that as family and friends on a Monday through the Summer. Wednesday is sailing (racing)
That is part of my problem. I am a lucky chap. ::)
you can now do a lot of very cool things for charity - climbing mountains, trekking with orangutans, walking the great wall of china - all stuff which would be awesome to do.
Mine will ideally involve chucking in the day job and buying a smallholding. Unfortunately that means I can't really have my mid-life crisis until I can afford to retire so it'll have to hold off for a fair while yet.
Quoteyou can now do a lot of very cool things for charity - climbing mountains, trekking with orangutans, walking the great wall of china - all stuff which would be awesome to do.
Funny that, I always have to separate the two.
If I do something for fun, then it is for me. Asking others to contribute always seems mean. When I do something that asks me to get sponsorship, then I donate.
What's a Smallholding?
And, I agree with Drastic. See a third world country and you'll realize how stupid it is to be unhappy with all we have.
I remember seeing all the people in Peru and how little they had. Living, literally in shaks where you could see the outside through the cracks. But every Saturday night, the people of hte town would gather together in the town square and dance and laugh and hang out. I've never seen people who were so poor...yet so happy.
Unhappy? Naw I' m the village idiot. Happiest man in the village :)
more looking to make the most of an opportunity.
Sue has given me a pass out to do... something....
traditionally you should cultivate a combover and buy yourself a porsche. Perhaps throw in an inappropriately loud jacket?
Grnidone - smallholding = basically a play farm. 20 acres or so, some wood to coppice, few sheep, bees, chickens and ducks, wouldn't mind a few cottages as holiday lets (but only for 3 months a year, don't want to have to do it to survive) and serve cream teas in the orchard to holiday makers willing to pay stupid money in the farm shop afterwards.
Short Answer:
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Long Answer:
It all depends on your 'crisis'. Since I don't have a great sense of moderation, I've had more than one... although I apparently like to space them about 5 years apart.
If it is because you are just plain miserable, like I was after my dogs got sick and died and we all went down in flames, I threw myself back into full time non-profit work for a year plus. Overall, I would guess I've donated almost 3 full years of my time to causes that I felt warranted the attention, mainly environmental organizations and finding missing children. (I still do random one off food drives and stuff like that, but thats kinda off topic.) Personally I find when I'm miserable it is because I can't seem to change the situation, and I'm too self absorbed. In cases like this, I finally stop beating myself up and turn that energy towards helping other people. In that way, it is very selfishly motivated but the outcome benefits others, and so even if I'm doing the right thing for the wrong reason, well, at least I'm doing the right thing. Overall, I also think it gives you a better perspective on things.
If its because you never achieved what you wanted in life, and you realize you probably never will, I guess time and drinking will deaden that pain until you die, unless you can recalibrate yourself with reality. I never had this type of crisis but I would guess, taking time away to do other things probably wont work, unless you stumble upon some life changing event in the process.... which might happen. Unfortunately, it isn't guaranteed and if you got yourself into this jam in the first place, I might be a little suspect as to your judgment with this new goal too.
If its because you did achieve what you wanted in life, but once you achieved it you realized it was a hollow victory (like you spent your whole life amassing wealth and shallow women) then you will need to define 'success' along a different dimension. I never had this crisis either, since I've tried to fight it my whole life, but I do have hope for someone solving this because it means at least they have what it takes to reach a goal, so they just need to find a more worthy one, which will actually be much easier now that their primary goal is not clouding their view.
If its because you did achieve what you wanted in life, and it was worth the effort, but now you simply don't have a plan for the day after... well, thats the crisis I've been battling myself. For me, the last one was coming across that finish line in 3rd in Siberia, the fans screaming, the old style flashbulbs popping, standing on stage as they lit fireworks over head and raised the American flag behind me. It was a 10 year goal in the making...
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And then it was all over. Now what? How the fuck do I top that?
It's been a real issue for me. And I haven't really solved it. But in the meantime I've dealt with it by moving as far South as I could, and away from everything I was comfortable with. I got rid of every living thing, including plants, that are dependent upon me. I started training jiu-jitsu. And now hopefully my escape pod is coming in the form of my new app that I'll be releasing next month. And I'm praying it will go over huge so I can checkout, and go travel the rest of the world... hence the no pets and the fight training. Will this solve the crisis? I have no fucking idea. But it sure as hell is better than watching TV and looking some photos and some ribbons on the wall. Right now is just about getting enough money to retire in the next year, or at least enough to spend a few years seeing another country.
Not getting there yet, but a nice round of golf in a sunny spot, a martini and some southern bbq on a daily basis and I could be happy.
Right...is it really about not being happy with what you have, or trying to get things done that you want to do before you die?
>>how stupid it is to be unhappy with all we have
Happiness and unhappiness is so much more complicated than that. Thinking back on my blackest depressions in my early 20s, there is no unhappiness like the one that comes when you realize that you have most things you want and yet you are still deeply unhappy. I would never take someone's unhappiness from them, if you know what I mean.
Anyway... I think something fun would be to take an amount of money that made me feel a bit uncomfortable, go to a city and just spend a day handing out 20s or 100s to people who looked unhappy. I've done it before as a one-off and it's a kick, but to do it many times in a day would probably be really memorable. Not sure if it really fits the MA crisis model though. See dogboy's picture for that ;-)
Actually, I'm so full of sh## (newsflash).... just took me a second to realize it.
I suppose I'm having a midlife crisis right now, it's just that it doesn't feel like a crisis at all. More like an adventure.
Same boat... 47, happily married, reasonably fit. I always dreamed of moving back to the mountains, falling madly in love with a woman who shared my passions (rock climbing, skiing, hiking, books) and who loved me more than I knew how to love myself, having modest but stable standard of living, and making a living from books as a scholar. And that's pretty much where I am. Great wife. Live in Yosemite. We've climbed the steep sides of El Capitan and Half Dome together. I've made my living for the last 20 years mostly as a historian turning out obscure scholarly works.
A few years ago I took the winter off and taught skiing, mostly to kids. It was a blast, but I went back to scholarship. But lately I've gotten really tired with how solitary my work life is and how "indoor" it is and decided I wanted a change.
So.... starting May 9, I'm becoming a US National Park Ranger, Interpretation (meaning naturalist guide), GS 05, $38,000 per year. I get to wear govt issue wool/poly pants in the summer and a silly hat and introduce tourists to the wonders of Yosemite. I swore after quitting at Domino's Pizza in 1985 I would never take another job that required a uniform or dress code, but I'm really looking forward to this. In fact, I think it's the first time in my life I've been excited about a job (when I started as a historian I was excited about the work, but it wasn't exactly a "job" back then since I was a grad student).
My wife had been trying to get me to apply for this for years because she said "You're always going around doing essentially the same thing for free on your time off. You might as well get paid for it," but before our rental business started earning money, I didn't feel I could afford it. Now we have some rental income, so when my dear friend, teacher and mentor died in December, my wife told a mutual friend to call me and ask me to apply for a job in his department. He did. I did. Went up against 300 candidates and to my great surprise, got the job. The beginning of a great adventure.
I think that if you are planning for your mid-life crisis you aren't really having one.
>Yosemite
That is my favorite NP, hands down, and is equal in magnitude to the Grand Canyon, imo. And to get a ranger position out of it?! People would kill for that job. I couldn't even get a volunteer job there, back in the day.
Crisis SOLVED:)
>See dogboy's picture
If that picture doesn't just ooze mid-life crisis, I don't know what would:)
>>Crisis SOLVED:)
Not much of a crisis, but for such a long time, what I really wanted to do was get paid to be a historian. But after 23 years at it in one form or another, the excitement was sort of gone. When my doctoral advisor, dear friend, mentor and boss died in December, I had a little bit of a crisis since he was a lot of the reason I had stayed as a historian.
At the time inbound (http://th3core.com/talk/profile/?u=122) asked "What would you do if there were no barriers?" and I was a bit at a loss as to how to answer that, but it did make me ask seriously whether I wanted to continue doing what I was doing.
A couple days later someone I like and admire called and would love to have the chance to work wth and learn from, asked me to apply for the ranger job and I was just surprised at how appealing it seemed (given that it means giving up 20 years of working when, where and how I want for an actual job with a schedule and everything, so a big change in lifestyle).
So yeah... I'll report back in six month about how the summer season went, but at the least, it's a big shakeup.
>>That is my favorite NP, hands down,
I would have guessed Denali ;-)
Rupert: Didn't have a family then - well, parents and siblings but they lived in Edinburgh and I had lived in Amsterdam for the previous 11 years and was in the Army before that - so they don't really count.
My girlfriend was a bit shocked when I called her from Heathrow to tell her I was on my way to Seattle and wouldn't be coming back for at least a year. Actually about 4 weeks later I found Heidi in Seattle. I was a bit of a bugger back then.
QuoteI think that if you are planning for your mid-life crisis you aren't really having one.
Mmmm, from the sounds of things I am not really taking it seriously. More of an excuse for a trip I need.
Why don't you just buy the bike of your dreams and just set off?
...I'm on the edge of my seat:) He's already got the bike, the greenlight, the cash, know how, etc. He's looking for the plan.
Why?
What a fabulous and diametrically opposed stance on the subject. To leave without a plan, only a vague direction. I've done it for a few days at time (and ended up in Yosemite, funny enough). I went to Jamaica, alone, with no place to stay for 2 weeks once. I lived out of my Jeep for 4 months and drove all over the SW.
It's quite a feeling.
Maybe if you want a proper crisis, you should leave with no plan. I like that idea profoundly. So much more interesting than the reasons why you need one. We all know what they are. But leaving without one... well, no one will know about that until you login one day and tell us what happened.
You want an adventure? You want a crisis? Are you really up for one? Or do you want a carefully planned vacation? I mean there is value in those too. But it's not a proper adventure, at least in my book.
If you really need a plan, then plan to leave and plan on coming back. That's a plan.
Dogboy, You sound like my sister. ::) She like to leave and then plan "to where". Her husband likes to have everything as a detailed itinerary. Its always a compromise.
Its a good point, perhaps I should go walkabout again. Last time was as a student, and I got myself to Nepal and base camp. It was always the plan, I just never knew how I was going to get there.
I don't want to take 4 months though, and so if I have a bit of a plan, then at least... well, I know of folks who have gone off, drifted a bit, come back, so what? And if it was a big one, that's planned for when Lucy is about 13, and then we will take a couple of months to go places. (Insurance matures at just the right time)
Your use of the word "Adventure" ties it down I think. Yes, an adventure, not a mid life crises. Perhaps I should save the Crisis for a bit later (Not too much later, my neighbour died of a heart attack on Monday, at 66. ) :'( ...at work....
Peter, not sure I don't have the bike of my dreams. 150bhp, and will cruise all day? Sometimes tempted with a Duccati, but I like the reliability too much. Might be 10 years old, but it offers more than I can handle... just keep your eyes to where you want to go, and it goes! ....
So on my own, or with a mate? mmm, have I got any mates...
>planned for when Lucy is about 13
Prepare yourself for the almost certain outcome that she won't want to go away with you from that age onwards. Then the "crisis" will really kick in ;)
Quote from: Rupert on April 21, 2011, 06:18:23 AM
(Not too much later, my neighbour died of a heart attack on Monday, at 66. ) :'( ...at work....
That's very sad :(
So many people I know have worked hard and saved and then not been able to enjoy what they've been planning for later years. I've had a bit of a shift in my outlook over the past few years. Once there's no mortgage to pay and with no kids to worry about helping out its definately time to live for the day imho, sod saving for your old age, you might never see it and even if you do the quality of the nursing home care doesn't seem in any way related to how much you pay per week to sit in your own wee and watch too-loud TV.
For a real adventure I'd say go on your own - just stick a pin in a map and set off.
Yes but be nice to your Kids, they choose your Nursing home. :o
NFFC... that is bribe No 1 to keep her coming. Still working on Bribe No 2
My best adventures involve dogboy's plan minus the part about planning for coming back (granted, this was pre-marriage) and plus one more element: seriously limited funds.
Remember the definition of an adventure: a disaster that didn't happen.
OK Rupert. I agree with DB. You need a "proper" adventure. But, you're a little shy to go 4 months in a jeep with no idea what the hell you're doing.
So, start small.
Take 4 days. 4 little days. Get someone to take the dog, cat whatever so you don't have to worry. Send child and wife to the inlaws with your blessing and plenty of cash to do whatever they want.
Now, your plan is to come back on day 4 no matter what. Get a triple A (AAA) membership so if something happens -- flat tire, dead bike, whatever -- , you'll be ok.
Now, get on your bike, armed with only $50 a day and ride. (The shortage of money will force you to be creative in where you stay and what you do.) Turn your cell phone off, but have it with you in case you need to call for help.
Have no plan, no idea where you will stay. Just ride. The only thing you know is that in 4 days, you'll go home.
Know you'll be ok because it's just 4 days and you can't screw yourself up TOO badly in just 4 days.
DogBoy would snort at such a pussy vacation, but it's a way to dip your toe in the water. And, when that turns out wonderfully, you'll be more inspired to do something bigger and better.
Just start with 4 days.
One more thing: you need to do this by yourself FIRST...so you kind of get the hang of it of this free dogboy-like thinking. It's difficult to do when you are worried about people with you.
When you have nobody to take care of but yourself, you'll be creative and do things you never thought you'd do.
<snort>
I'd leave the phone, take a knife, a small flashlight, 2 lighters, a candle, a leatherman, a crescent wrench, a roll of duct tape, bailing wire, a synthetic sleeping bag, synthetic clothing and foul weather gear, basic first aid kit minus the little tiny band-aids, a pocket full of cash, and your head and your balls:)
</snort>
Definition of adventure: A disaster that doesn't happen.
All my best adventures have followed dogboy's plan and limited funds is essential. I've done a lot of hitchhiking and sleeping in orchards and barns (in the US, France and even a couple of barns in Nepal). I've also gone off without enough money to get home unless I picked up a little work (that wasn't by choice). Those adventures have been mind expanding, more so than other things I've done that are perceived to be adventurous (mountaineering type of stuff).
Quote from: grnidone on April 21, 2011, 05:18:18 PM
One more thing: you need to do this by yourself FIRST...so you kind of get the hang of it of this free dogboy-like thinking. It's difficult to do when you are worried about people with you.
When you have nobody to take care of but yourself, you'll be creative and do things you never thought you'd do.
I think this is right. I am planning a massive tour with my wife when the kids leave home, but for an adventure you need to be free from the worry of protecting anyone. I'm sure the danger I would put myself in alone is far greater than that I would put anyone else in who was with me. For that reason, you have to do at least part of a crisis trip alone.
My family think I am far too 'responsible', its not that at all (if they only knew!!!) it is just that it is my core instinct to keep them from harm.
I like it, it could be the west coast of Ireland, Scotland, France or Cornwall. ... or 2 of the above.
I would need more than $50 though Heather, that wouldn't pay for the fuel :)
Can I take a bivvy bag? It is the UK after all. Ah, towel.. seas cold.
Bivvy bag is a great idea and worth the weight on a bike. Cotton towel (or anything cotton for that matter) is a bad idea unless you are in a desert, or you are in a frozen environment, where there is no chance you will encounter water. Once it gets wet, it'll never dry out, and if you are wearing it, it could kill you with hypothermia. That's why I mentioned synthetic bag and clothes in my list. Down sleeping bags are the same way. In fact, whatever I'm using for a pack, I usually line with a trash bag to ensure dryness and it's a handy thing to have at your disposal for a bunch of things (including a poncho) if you need it.
I don't really know where you'll be and if you are really going to camp, or stay at a hotel wherever you find yourself that night. You can always include a backpackers stove and fuel (depending on your stove, you might even be able to burn high octane gas, in which case you could use it for your bike as an aux tank to get you to the next station.) A thermal mug and a spoon and a pot make for a hot drink or soup (dehydrated noodle is common, cheap, and light) and not a bad thing to have.
The reality is there are levels to the amount of crap you can bring. My original list was really Spartan, but the next step up, which is a full camping kit, is really everything you need to last a few days up to a month, the only thing that will vary will be your food.
In all honesty, it will take you a while before you learn the ins and outs of living out of a pack, as well as how and what you pack. Our resident mountaineer will back me up on that. After a while though, you will get to a point where you just feel really comfortable anywhere and self contained and all warm and fuzzy. Usually you will also have a few things that are considered 'luxuries' but they will be worth their weight to you and make you comfortable. For me it's a tiny candle lantern and something called a crazy creek insulated chair thing that you sit in and the pressure from your legs supports your lower back, plus it doubles as an insulated sleeping pad (oh bring one of those too if you bring a bag).
I'm sure some people will say that's too much, but for me, I find that they really make me happy and comfortable. The other thing that makes me comfortable is a gun and a dog (can even be a little one) but a dog sleeps light and has a good sense of fear, as well as night vision, and a nose. If anything funny happens, it's your first line of defense in that it will wake you up so you can grab your gun, otherwise you could wake up dead w your piece under your pillow. But since I don't think you are in bear country you really don't need to be too concerned. As far as thugs go, picking a good hiding spot to sleep and a 6" blade should be enough to get 5 hours of sleep at night and you can always nap during the day. It's really more for your piece of mind than for self defense but its not a bad thing to have around just in case.
Dogboy, if I just avoid some of the dodgy areas of Glasgow I should manage without a gun :) Certainly no bears, rabid dogs. Just humanity.
When I did my walkabout, my pack was 60lbs. I carried it from Jiri to Kalapatar (opposite Everest) up and down.
That had a few little luxuries...
I could do a hike in Scotland, but mostly its too populated in the UK. A bike trip could be interesting though. Mountain or motor ??? mmmmm..
Quotesomething called a crazy creek insulated chair thing that you sit in
I have one of those and I love it. The back support makes a serious difference to comfort when sitting around outdoors.
>>my pack was 60lbs.
Unless you're packing the Encyclopedia Britannica, planning on going to the *top* of Everest, or going in the dead of winter, shoot for about half that. Gear has gotten so much lighter lately. My "light" stuff from 10 yrs ago seems like it's lined with lead compared to the new stuff.
>>bivy sac
Personally, I consider this a mountaineering item for when you might have to sleep sitting up, on a small ledge or in a snow cave. Summer tents are so light now that for the weight of a bivy sac and a bit more, you can have a whole tent and a lot more comfort. My wife and I use the double version of this:
http://www.tarptent.com/rainbow.html#specs
That's about 2 pounds for one (the double gets you down to 2.5 pounds for two).
If you want to be able to brew your own tea, you could get the lightest "kitchen" on the market (full disclosure, I built and run this site for my friend up the street):
http://www.traildesigns.com/stoves/caldera-keg-f-stove-system - pot, stove, fuel bottle, two cups, a cup insulator, case, and stand/windscreen for 6.3 ounces.
So at this point, you're at 40.3 ounces and you have a tent and complete kitchen. Buy yourself a 1 kilo sleeping bag - plenty for summer - and an insulating pad and you have your basic sleeping and cooking needs met for about 5 pounds.
Now you have another 3 pounds for your backpack and 22 pounds for clothes and luxuries.
>I carried it from Jiri to Kalapatar
whoa! my apologies for talking down to you... you know what I'm saying then.
My longest backpacking trip was 30 days in the Talkeetna Mountains in Alaska, 17 days of which was in rain:) That's just the way it is there, which is why I stressed the synthetics.
My longest camping trip was 6 months alone on the White Mountain Apache Reservation in AZ, in a two man tent doing an endangered minnow study for the tribe. Which is why I stressed the chair:) Buckworks knows what I'm sayin too!
>Summer tents are so light now
agreed. But since it sounded like he had one, I figured go for it. The stove sounds awesome too, but this trip isn't supposed to be about a shopping adventure or a financial crisis, so I didn't want to stress all the cool shit and gadgetry out there:) But yeah, if you get the stove, then get the stove repair kit too, and so on...
Oh my God.
You were snorting at me for taking a cell phone? While you take a truckload of other stuff?
This is a 4 day trip. FOUR DAYS! Not a month. Not to Everest or Alaska. It's a drive in springtime beauty of England...where you can't go 50 miles without seeing a town with everything you need. Or at least enough.
He can live without the chair, the stove and the tent...
Forget all the crap. Just take a wallet, a cell phone for emergencies and GO!
ahahahahahhaha wait a second... for his 4 day bike trip I'll stick with my original list. (see what I was saying about levels of crap? Its a slippery slope...)
But bikes need more attention than the riders, so you do need some basic tools, or else stupid thing can ruin your ride, or kill you. Nuts and bolts come undone, shift levers loosen up, exhausts fall off, etc.
And duct tape... well, any guy knows you need a duct tape. For your bike, yourself, your shelter... everything can be fixed with duct tape. And if you can't fix it with duct tape, then 90% of the time you can fix it with bailing wire...
:)
OT
>>17 days of which was in rain:)
When I worked in Whitier, Alaska, someone printed up a t-shirt: "Whitier Rain Festival, January 1, 1985 – December 31, 1985"
QuoteWhen I worked in Whitier, Alaska, someone printed up a t-shirt: "Whitier Rain Festival, January 1, 1985 – December 31, 1985"
Reminds me of Flanders and Swan. a song called "Bloody January again"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eT40eV7OiI
As it is from before video, there is only pictures. So this is the script:
January brings the snow
Makes your feet and fingers glow.
February's ice and sleet
Freeze the toes right off your feet.
Welcome March with wint'ry wind
Would thou wert not so unkind.
April brings the sweet Spring showers
On and on for hours and hours.
Farmers fear unkindly May
Frost by night and hail by day.
June just rains and never stops
Thirty days and spoils the crops.
In July the sun is hot.
Is it shining? No, it's not.
August, cold and dank and wet,
Brings more rain than any yet.
Bleak September's mist and mud
Is enough to chill the blood.
Then October adds a gale
Wind and slush and rain and hail.
Dark November brings the fog
Should not do it to a dog.
Freezing wet December; then
Bloody January again!
Dogboy, that was a walk a long time ago :)
Buckworks I never realised it had got so light! Thanks for the links.
I'm getting excited about this though. I am inclined to Heathers version. Money and Phone. Simple.
I can buy a good pub meal, and a bed if I fancy. Call the AA, navigate with my phone....
A chap I know (local nutter I used to play squash with, but now avoid as he gets into trouble all the time. Big trouble) cycled round Britain and wrote a book.
It was going to be called"In search of the Perfect Wife" but the publishers made him change it when he became "Eccentric of the Year" last year I think it was.
Its not hilarious, so don't buy it:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/True-British-Eccentric-Rob-Lowe/dp/1845493532/
Every pub he went into, he opened with the line:
"I am looknig for the perfect wife, would I find her round here?" But no, just a few days for me.
..can I take chocolate do you think?
>"Whitier Rain Festival, January 1, 1985 – December 31, 1985"
ahahahahah now THAT is good:)
Yeah, urban adventures require less stuff and more money. Like ergophobe said, some of the best adventures don't sound as glamorous as some of the ones that sound awesome. Out of all the crazy shit I've done, going to Jamaica alone with no where to go may top the list in terms of real danger.
I'm still not convinced of the phone though. Most every really good place I've been, they don't work. Maybe because I live in the States, and it's been a few years since I've been gallivanting, but I'd like to think there are places where people can't reach me. If the point is to get away, then I don't want to be connected. And if you have a smartphone, it's worse. You'll sit down, get bored, and start surfing... vacation ruined. You don't need it. You don't want it. Soak up the silence. Loose your self in thoughts. Stare into a fire. Be afraid of the dark. Be alone. Get comfortable with yourself, by yourself. Stop moving. Marvel at whats around you. Read a paper map. Celebrate your independence. Let go of your security blankets. You don't need them. This shouldn't even be that big of a consideration. If you are lost without your phone, well, isn't that the point of all this? It's like people that cant stop watching TV. If you take it away from them they have no idea what to do. They continuously keep thinking about TV. Don't let yourself be one of those people. Adventure is everywhere. You just have to seek it out.
The discussion of the phone reminds me of one more thing to throw into the mix...
To mark her 40th birthday my wife is doing 40 days of meditating an hour a day (she's never really meditated before, so this is totally new) followed by a 10-day retreat at a Vipasana center where you basically meditate from 6am to 10pm with breaks for *light* meals. You're not allowed to bring a phone, iPod, books, writing materials or any other "distracting" things.
A lot of our friends have done it at the local center and tend to use phrases like "transformative", "pivotal experience in my life"
She's going here:
http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schmahavana.shtml
But you could go here:
http://www.dipa.dhamma.org/
http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schdipa.htm
It definitely counts as cheap - if it's too much for you and you can't make it the whole 10 days, they refuse to take money from you. If you do make it, they accept a donation based on what you feel you can afford.
It would be a journey of a different sort.
Bailing wire is difficult to find anymore. Most bailers use the plastic stuff...
And, I'm not saying he needs to keep the phone on. I'm saying, take the phone JUST IN CASE. I doubt he'll even use it. But keep in mind, he does have a family and a wife who might insist he call in every night so they knows he's OK.
He's a beginner to this adventure stuff, DB. Let him have his blankey. He's got to ease into this.
After he does the 4 days ok, then we'll get on him about being a big boy and he doesn't need his blankey anymore.
Guys, not every adventure has to be unplanned and not everything planned is the best adventure. I went to China with no plan back when it was hard to get a visa, and it was cool but with hindsight more of a plan would have been helpful.
On the flipside there are things which require planning, even training, and which are awesome experiences. I almost feel like you wouldn't think a north pole treck would be an adventure because you'd take more than 10lb supplies and a tent :)
Well said and agreed...
But everything is relative. I think the point of this whole thread though was to solicit ideas for Rupert's consideration, so every perspective here seems just as valid as any of the other ones, and they all seemed backed up by fairly badass stories, which lend them all additional merit.
The main idea though, from my perspective, is that you don't OVER plan, when you do NOT need to, and you try to limit what you bring to what will be required. A trip to China sounds like you need some planning. A 4 day jaunt doesn't require more than a yellow sticky note left on your refrigerator telling everyone when you'll be back.
Like I said before, I lived half a year in a 2 man tent... but I have also owned a 35' 5th wheel deluxe camper, with pop-outs, a queen bed, shower, and a TV. It's up to you how much you want to 'rough it', what you take, what you don't take, etc. and that has quite a bit about where you are going and why.
I keyed in on this thread because at first I thought Rupert never even went backpacking and here he tells me he's been half way around the world humping a big frame pack. I do think though that I could offer advice both on 'crisis' and on exploring, because I think I've had quite a bit of experience with both. And while I have never been to the North Pole, I have been flown 200 miles North of Nome, into the Arctic Circle in a twin Cessna, with all the seats ripped out to accommodate me, 18 sled dogs, gear, and supplies for 2 weeks... and while I indeed had more than 10lbs of stuff, to my credit, I literally did NOT have 10lbs of EXTRA stuff:)
...it's all a balance, and the more experience you have, the better you are at finding the line that suits you. Personally, I always like a challenge, so if I don't perceive the challenge to be too great, I MAKE it great, by planning less and taking less. If the challenge is truly great then I do my best to prepare and research and make sure I make it back alive and in one piece... so I can come in here and tell you all my epic stories about how I made 'the impossible' my b###ch:)
There's a difference between "planning" and "preparation". You can head out for an adventure without planning much in particular, but you need to be prepared, in terms of knowledge, skills and adequate gear (or the resources to acquire it when needed) to keep yourself alive in the conditions you'll encounter.
Usually, the more you know, the less stuff you need.
Here are some guys that planned a ski trip and were obviously prepared for the unexpected avalance they encountered:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwbP9WLX3fY&sns=em
I love that guy's voice as much as the imagery. I bet it doesn't sound like that all the time. That adventure took only one day. And while you may never have the skills, planning, prep, whatever, to do that, you can always jump out of a plane for $100 any day of the week, with an experienced tandem jumper. And while I guess it isn't perfectly safe, it isn't all that dangerous either.
So if anyone out there can't find anything on TV, do a search online for a reputable skydive operator inyour area and see if they have any space left for this afternoon. Chances are they will. And all you have to do is show up an hour early and listen to them tell you not to do anything stupid and just go.
Then, when you are standing in the door of the plane, and you realize there is no way back besides out that door...
(https://th3core.com/chat/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-snc1%2Fv5104%2F219%2F104%2F587880251%2Fn587880251_7524970_758909.jpg&hash=b634a083a01c7ed62f8e7147160aa61b0b75867b)
...instead of yelling 'Geronimo', curse my name instead, as they launch you into the abyss...
(https://th3core.com/chat/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-snc1%2Fv5104%2F219%2F104%2F587880251%2Fn587880251_7524973_1303479.jpg&hash=f76b4890b3843d8b996304fe3e4eb187f38221b2)
And by the time you touch down safe and sound...
(https://th3core.com/chat/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-snc1%2Fv5104%2F219%2F104%2F587880251%2Fn587880251_7525025_1614672.jpg&hash=348234a956c46a3b0e4d95693cafb80c0eacf342)
....you'll thank me:)
(https://th3core.com/chat/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-snc1%2Fv5104%2F219%2F104%2F587880251%2Fn587880251_7525034_7279566.jpg&hash=caa19f02a125f5479f31b72758bf45bd00f88f58)
Nothing like doing it for real from a Cessna 180 - 1 foot on the step, the other on the wheel. One hand on the wing strut and the other on the door and smoke cannisters strapped to your boots under the light blue, dark blue and green canopy.
nothing like watching sky divers from the local pub with a pint of Stella in your hand :)
Oh this is exciting... thx for all the ideas.
I am not sure 4 days is an Adventure... Going without the phone would not be such a big deal. Explaining it to Sue would be the most difficult. Be nice to catch up with them every now and again. I just had 3 days offline, and Friday was only a half day, so I am not addicted to the computer anymore.
When I did my post College walkabout , it was 3 1/2 months in India/Nepal. It was such a long time ago though. I didn't ring home once, and sent Mum 2 cards. My girlfriend at the time didn't want to talk to me when I got back. No idea why. She was invited to come with me.
No 10 days meditation would be a step too difficult for me... I get bored with my own company when going for a run, so that long in my head.... ahhhh never know what I might find!!!!
Nothing!!!!!!
Dogboy I did the tandem sky dive... Sue did the round canopy from 2000 feet, and had to jump herself, and I agree with her that has a bigger rush.... (But don't tell her I said so! ) At 10,000 ft, the land seemed a long way away, and so death (it is only the last fraction of an inch that gets you) was still a distant issue.
I do find it difficult to do anything without a purpose. So riding round on my bike needs an end goal. For 4 days, I could explore more of the west coast, to see if there are any hidden corners that I do not know about. Thought... I could take my blow up kayak on my bike, and if the sea is calm, explore bits from the sea too....
>I did the tandem sky dive
I agree with you on all points. But in my mind it's still up there as one of the best things you could do with $100, 2 hours, and absolutely no skills whatsoever and it comes with a big rush.
But if I ever took it seriously, I'd forget planes and buildings and just ski off mountains in France, like those guys in my video, above. I've watched about 10 videos like that and I'm hooked on the idea.
>Thought... I could take my blow up kayak on my bike, and if the sea is calm, explore bits from the sea too....
I think our job here is done:)
QuoteI do find it difficult to do anything without a purpose.
Wow! You're like my evil shadow persona... or perhaps I'm yours.
I think most people would think my dad was one of the most driven people they had ever met. When I was 22 and told him that I couldn't think of one purposeful, productive thing in the world that interested me, he said
Quotet doesn't matter. Just keep doing new things and don't hurt others. Eventually, you'll either find the things you love or you will have lived a full and varied life and you'll be eligible for Social Security. Either way, it works out.
We locked heads a lot, but he actually knew the right things to say when the chips were down.
ergo: I beg you to add that quote to the good quotes thread. That one is worth remembering.
Done. At the risk of being self-indulgent, I have to add two things.
1. He prefaced that by asking with the earnestness that only a father can: "How old are you now?" (what mother asks that?)
2. When I said I had enough "youth crises" that I didn't think I would need a mid-life crisis, this was one of them. His followup suggestion was that I open a course catalog for the local university, and see if there's a single course in there that interested me. He said "Don't think about career or practicality. Just pick something you wish you had studied, but never did. Just follow your curiousity and see where it leads."
I picked a history course. It was a long and winding road, but 25 years later, I have a doctorate in history, five books to my name (two more in the final stages) and my work has taken me to Switzerland, to Wisconsin where I met my wife and has allowed me to live in Yosemite. It's not by accident I remember that conversation!
if there was a like button on that post, I'd click it 5x:)
Wow Ergo,, I will try to take that with me for when my daughter needs it. Thanks.
Yes Dogboy, job done, thanks for all the help folks...
tandem always reminds me of the old PG Tips ad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqNnPrxzm3g
Had a friend back in the 80s who used to belong to a nudist parachuting team - not exactly great for tandem
Hey, Rupert!
Any update on this? Made any plans yet?
Ah, to be put on the spot like that! I didn't think I would be followed up on so soon!
Well, It got put on hold as I had to go sailing in Greece with the family :P
I have bought a few "Best bike Roads" books, and been searching on the interweb thingy to find out where might be good.
A plan to ride across india to find a supplier fell through, as the supplier wanted to sell 10000's of suits, not 10's.
So still to happen!
Quote from: Rupert on June 10, 2011, 03:27:41 PM
A plan to ride across india to find a supplier fell through, as the supplier wanted to sell 10000's of suits, not 10's.
I had a deal like that recently (which also fell through). Don't tell me, they had a one page contract too?
The sailing sounds like fun!
The sailing was great.
Spaced between eating, drinking, snorkling, swimming.. lead boat even had a wake board. Never got a go on it though.
Yes I need to get out somewhere and find one. Where to start eh?