I like this article because it takes something that is kind of a pain in the butt and puts it into 3 easy steps. This is a great thing to show clients who want to pontificate on their web sites about their products.
Essentially, this is how to write copy for a web site.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/07/17/how-to-pitch-anything-in-15-seconds/
Overall it is a useful breakdown - with one embarrassing error right at the start (IMO, of course, but bear with me here).
The 'great example' he uses is:
Quote4G is a mobile broadband technology that will change the way your department communicates, collaborates, and operates.
No No No!!!!!
Quote4G is a mobile broadband technology that will IMPROVE the way your department communicates, collaborates, and operates.
'change' is irrelevant - 'improve' is a benefit.
It may sound like I am being Mr Picky here, but if this were a headline on a website sales letter, he would be losing some conversions with 'change' instead of 'improve'.
Quote from: 4Eyes on July 25, 2012, 09:02:43 PM
It may sound like I am being Mr Picky here
No, it doesn't. I think you're spot on. One of the most important aspects, especially for a headline or short copy, is to think of the *potential* impact of every word (potential because different people will be impacted in different ways). Sometimes a small change can change the entire tone, and sometimes that's an improvement and sometimes it isn't ;-)