Turns out it's a short list
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/9653497/British-have-invaded-nine-out-of-ten-countries-so-look-out-Luxembourg.html
US: there's a Southern colloquialism that seems to apply; "we heired it honest."
The list is incorrect. I invaded Andorra in 1986.
Quotealthough the Americans had a later start and have been working hard on it in the twentieth century.
I guess that's the Brits fault too. When colonials Run amok :)
Louise and I went to Andorra on the way to the Barcelona meetup. Odd place, but we liked it a lot ....you could smell the money. Made me feel very pedestrian/poor. So, yeah, good candidate for invasion by the jealous hordes.
To be fair, a map with the list of countries the US has had military action with would be quite extensive too.
http://academic.evergreen.edu/g/grossmaz/interventions.html
we would invade the US too but it owes too much money :)
Be careful Mick, we have secret weaponry powered by high fructose corn syrup. We've already placed distribution nodes in the UK ...results are promising.
:)
We were a horrible nation. We took what we wanted with the use of flags (credit Eddie Izzard)
>We were a horrible nation.QuoteThe Attorney General Sir Edward Coke told the court that each of the condemned would be drawn backwards to his death, by a horse, his head near the ground. They were to be "put to death halfway between heaven and earth as unworthy of both". Their genitals would be cut off and burnt before their eyes, and their bowels and hearts removed. They would then be decapitated, and the dismembered parts of their bodies displayed so that they might become "prey for the fowls of the air".
- on the trial and execution Guy Fawkes for his involvement in the Gunpowder Plot 407years ago, today
That's one way to keep them in line:)
>took what we wanted
For a piss-ant sized island, you guys did pretty well. I never could figure where you got the manpower to manage the empire. Yeah, I know you had firepower with your navy but still.
>manage the empire
Primogeniture, aristocracy always had younger sons that would not inherit so went off to seek their fortune expanding the Empire. It worked. That and England industrialized about 100 years before anybody else.
Quotewent off to seek their fortune
Around here (Canadian prairies), aristocratic young Brits who came to try their hand at homesteading and farming were called "remittance men" because few of them could have survived without their allowances from home.
It was a common pattern for them to claim a homestead (usually a quarter section), do the bare minimum of work that would meet the requirements to assume full ownership, then sell it and move to a city someplace.
>younger sons
It takes more than a few Rogers Of The Raj to fill a bureaucracy that large and that's not counting troops & seamen.
(My favorite R Yarn was Murder At Moorstone Manor, btw.)
Quote from: rcjordan on November 05, 2012, 03:33:06 AM
>younger sons
It takes more than a few Rogers Of The Raj to fill a bureaucracy that large and that's not counting troops & seamen.
(My favorite R Yarn was Murder At Moorstone Manor, btw.)
There was a lot of begeting going on. ;D
>manage the empire
Guns & cannons done the managing ;o)
Well, we kind of "took care of the Brits" way back.. and if the US corn sirup conspiracy wont work, we'll sail over again and take care of things once and for all. Eeerrrow.
>>>we kind of "took care of the Brits" way back
yeah raping and pillaging in our own back yard while we was busy empire building
mad men in long coats and hats with horns :)
By coincidence there was a great radio 4 show called GI Britain that was on over the weekend, Brits can listen here http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01nnw7y .
One quote that stood out was roughly "don't be mislead by the softly spoken manner of the Brits, they didn't conquer most of the known world without being tough"
I'm sure your mommas told you to watch out for the quiet ones. If that's the case the next economic and military superpowers will rise from Asia, quicker than we think too.
Hehe, been playing the new Assassains Creed III on the Xbox recently and the tag line is "watch the birth of a nation" - eg. play an english assassian travelling to the US in the wee early days and help slaughter the indians and build a nation on top ;-)
>don't be mislead by the softly spoken manner of the Brits
That's EXACTLY how the character is portrayed. A gentleman with a death wish ;) ..and a lot of weapons. They insinuate that the nation was built by the Masons and they still rule behind the scenes.
http://assassinscreed.ubi.com/ac3/en-us/index.aspx
This has done the rounds numerous times, but it landed in my mailbox again today and seemed timely with this thread in mind. Note: I don't agree with
all of it.
QuoteTo the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty QueenElizabeth II:
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). (I love that one)
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ' (I love that one too)
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
heh heh.