I *just* figured out how to change these after all these years...
In Acrobat: Files -> Properties -> Title
I never knew...
Good to know. Thanks Tom.
Some playing around yesterday and it turns out you can also set it with the "title" property in Word under "File -> Properties" and, most surprising, by just editing the XML in Notepad++ and resaving. I thought that last technique would lead to a corrupted PDF because of character code conversion, but it seemed absolutely fine