I'm having trouble with younger guys being "in touch with their emotions"

[BoL]

Seems like that tough love is good on kids though. Trying to find that blend between them communicating how they feel and when they should just get on with it. Stiff upper lip and all that!

[rcjordan]

>Emo Adults

I don't have much of a problem with EMO Females unless the emo is extreme. (Feigned emo, however, quickly detonates my onboard nukes.)  I'm cognizant of the Venus vs Mars physiological/psychological/social issues and aware that a lot of that is wrong ...but some of it is right, too.   I'm also aware that th3core has something of a Fight Club mentality, so I don't think we're typical. But this trend toward warm & fuzzy males is a PITA.


(FWIW, in the beginning of 'going public' , WMW was absolutely, 100% built using the Fight Club, anti-emo model.)

[Mackin USA]

"blunt approach" per Viking MF

FUCK EM is they can't deal with....

[ergophobe]

Stiff upper lip and all that!

The research
https://sites.sas.upenn.edu/duckworth/pages/research

The fluff piece on the research
http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/tomorrows-college/grit/angela-duckworth-grit.html

Some other guy I never heard of but who came up when searching for the above
http://www.thelavinagency.com/blog-education-speaker-paul-tough-grit-test.html

RC - next time someone complains about your coarseness, you might have them take the grit test and then do a followup "counseling" session.

BTW, I work with people from 28 to just shy of retirement and my three closest co-workers currently are 28, 30, 39 and I have no complaints. They all enjoy a fair bit of good-natured ribbing and are all thankful for useful/constructive criticism. None of them are whiners or overly sensitive. We have some real blunt people around here. I would say respectful, but blunt. I have yet to hear someone complain about blunt (unreasonable, yes, but not blunt).

[nffc]

>Isn't this more about appropriateness? If you're in touch with your own feelings its polite to be in touch with others feelings too. If you're  hugger and the person you're with isn't, then don't. If you're a sharer and the person you're with isn't - then rein it back a bit. If you know the person you're with is straight talking, snap yourself out of being oversensitive around them

That's not being appropriate, mirroring others feelings isn't the way to live your life. You need to be who you are, with all the constraints that polite society places on that of course.

There are only two rules:

Don't live your life in somebody else's imagination.

If some deadbeat son-in-law complains about not being able to get a good job, it's not your right to suggest he might want to take time out from call of duty to actually train and then look for a job. It is your responsibility to do so and if he doesn't listen a whoopsie around the head is a measured and appropriate response.

[littleman]

Over the last couple of years I've worked with a half-dozen young adults (21 to 28 y.o.),  most of them have actually had a great attitude.  I'm thinking that they just missed the 'helicopter parent' trend.  I am trying my damndest to not be one of those btw.

[ergophobe]

I'm thinking that they just missed the 'helicopter parent' trend.

Based on my limited university teaching in the 1990s, I doubt they missed that trend. I think there have always been kids with grit and kids without. The problem with the younger crowd is they haven't been sifted yet. So they might have all the paper credentials, but nobody knows yet whether or not they have the other qualities that make people good to work with. Over time, on average, the ones without grit do not rise and so older people seem to have more grit, but because the ones from their generation without grit just simply aren't in leadership positions and have fallen to the level they can handle.

Reasonable theory or BS? I have no idea. I just made it.

[nffc]

>university

I'm only guessing but I wouldn't imagine LM's kids had ever seen the inside of a university?

It could just be that we get ever more "in touch with our emotions" until a major war comes along to reset it.

[ergophobe]

I'm only guessing but I wouldn't imagine LM's kids had ever seen the inside of a university?

I'm just saying that products of helicopter parenting were already on the scene by the mid 1990s, so I don't think the 20-somethings that LM knows are too old to have missed out on being spoiled. They just weren't because every generation has its good and bad apples.