>Sexyboy ain't got a chance.

*cough*

Don't worry, when it hits the fan Gurtie will get the full charm offensive. I'll be living in total safety and getting breakfast in bed, bring it on.

Unless you can dredge up the cutthroat savviness of your junkyard days, you are toast.  (BTW, has the statute of limitations run out on that little incident involving a truck and a crusher? Been meaning to ask about that.)

I am going to start raising pigs. 

At least they can be good company until I need to eat them.  Who says I have to buy friends?

>> Noodles

I have basic food groups - about 100 bottles of wine, a fridge full of chocolate and a manual coffee grinder. And the bastard deer in the garden gets it first week - you're having venison for lunch NFFC

Brad - didn't know you were a prepper! Is that pretty standard in the US, it seem that a lot of you have at least some type of backup plan? I guess you are largely more rural than we are...

>> pigs

couldn't do it - we have a pig project along the lane, they're just too cute and intelligent to contemplate making into bacon!

>junkyard days

By a very strange coincidence one of my workers from those days came to see me today, not seen him for maybe 10 years.

He told a story I had forgotten where we went out for a night, he drove his Blue van. We both got very drunk and he decided to drive back, very quickly he saw the flashing blue lights of the police in his rear view mirror.

He looked at me and said what do we do, I said hit the gas peddle I will deal with it.

Being in the scrap game we had lots of spare parts in the van, so as he was driving at 80mph through the back streets of Nottingham I was leaning out the window throwing clutch plates at the pursuing police car. They decided that their life was worth more than catching us and stopped chasing.

The next morning in a masterstroke of criminal genius we took a paintbrush and painted the van black.

I welcome the coming apocalypse, Gurtie may well have a skip in her step too at that time.

although I think digital marketing as a career choice might not be a great option...

>largely more rural

Largely!?!?  NFFC took me to see Sherwood Oak or somesuch. NOT A SINGLE DAMN SQUIRREL did I see. Not one.

Lay off the noodles, too much salt. Bad for water consumption.

Really, a lot of this comes from hurricane preparedness. Do the 3 weeks thing.

>prepper

I think I might flunk a prepper test, but yes I grew up out in the country and played in the hundred acre woods so something might have rubbed off.

Now I live 2 stinking miles as the crow flies from the power plant and we have more power outages than I can count. Its getting Third World with the power, of course this is Indiana.

ah you have me looking at prepper websites now. Who knew you could peel hard boiled eggs with duct tape? Wow, I love the interweb

Prepper sites are fun.

You can do anything with duct tape.  Most of Americas infrastructure is held together with duct tape.

'Merica.

Murica

God, I love this scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y_6H617Fcs

"Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you? You bastard!"

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y_6H617Fcs

Because you just never know.

(Love that scene too.)

>scene

Needs more duct tape.  Movie struggles to make B-grade but has developed a cult following (pun, Gurtie).  

Preparedness food, easy way:
http://www.mountainhouse.com/product/0080635.html

Couple of tubs and and water filtration setup and you're good to go a couple of weeks. You need to think some things through such as MANUAL CAN OPENER, hand tools, etc., but at least you've got something.

And that's the why I like that scene so much. NOT the guns ...but that their (obviously paranoid) over-the-top preparedness turned out to be worth it for them.

lol - I wrote an article for a client about power cuts and mentioned manual can openers - they're the exact time you need to open cans! I didn't mention guns though. Perhaps I should edit...

you appear to have more colours of duct tape in the US. No fair.

>water

This is a backup for your water filter. Water purification tablets, chlorine tabs you can put in a canteen with water of unknown quality.  Sealed they have a very long shelf life. You can find at Army surplus, camping supply stores and of course Amazon. Don't shoot the drone.

Also stockpile some bottles of dry bath stuff like they use in hospitals and nursing homes so you can save the water for drinking.

>manual can opener
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can_opener#Military_use_can_openers